Saturday, March 12, 2011

Deep Thoughts

Paris has made me somewhat of a philosopher. Just being here has taught me many things about life. Some of those little tid bits, I would like to share with you:

1. Attitude is half of what you wear. So if you have been nervous about wearing that vintage mink coat , or rhinestone beanie, just turn up the 'tude, put 'em on, and go outside. Trust me, no one will think twice.
Example of good expression of attitude. This is what you are going for.
Even you can wear and mink coat out in public
2. Cobble stones kill. If you hate your feet, move to Paris. Because is a day or two, the feeling will be mutual. There is just something about the constant unevenness and poking rocks that just makes those pieds cry in pain.
This is what happens when your feet are abused by cobblestones everyday
3. Nutella is God's gift to mankind. If you doubt the existence of God, it is because you have not had Nutella slathered on a fresh baguette. This is practically a religious experience in itself. I have seen angels in when I eaten a Nutella crepe and even the Virgin Mary in my Nutella on brioche toast.

I feel it is now my duty to instruct you on the proper method of Nutella application.
Note the ridiculous amount of Nutella on this piece of toast. This is what you should be striving for.
The Perfect Piece of Nutella Toast
Sliced brioche

Butter knife
Paper towels

1.      Set toaster to a medium setting
2.      Put one or two slices of brioche in toaster
3.      Get out your jar of Nutella and prepare to spread on the goodness while the toast is still piping hot
4.      When toast pops, remove to a classy paper towel or plate
5.      Over estimate how much Nutella you will need to cover the slice of toast
a.       This will be approximately the right amount
b.      But be prepared to go back in for more
6.      Spread evenly until you have applied a ridiculous amount
7.      Repeat steps 1-6 until you have made as many pieces of toast as your body can handle
a.       You may need to just throw away the empty bag of brioche and lick the Nutella jar clean.
8.      If you have reached maximum capacity and ingredients still remain, dip knife one last time into Nutella jar and remove
9.      Lick knife clean
a.       There are no calories in the left over Nutella on the knife, especially if you lick it over the sink
10.  Enjoy that warm feeling that comes only after consuming large amounts of that chocolat et noisette goodness.
This is an eternal truth
 4. Should you lose your job, learning to play the accordion and taking to the metro is a good second option. Also, if you can somehow acquire a monkey to play the tambourine with you, I don’t know anyone who would not donate to your cause.
Man making a living playing his beloved accordion
If only he had this little guy to make his job more lucrative
 5. When in doubt, just go out. Don’t stay inside and watch Youtube videos. This is a waste of time. Get out and about and go see what your part of the world has to offer you. Remember my whole little schpeal on an adventure everyday?
If I could I would dress in a Safari Suite everyday. It would make life that much more exciting

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